Why ‘Snapper’ Foxy can’t wait to eat, drink and be merry

Now that the John Lewis Christmas TV ad has finally landed and Campaign magazine has bashed out the equivalent of a 28-page pull-out on it – not one, not two, not three, but four separate gushing articles on it – I suddenly find myself coming over all Christmassy (lucky “old Christmassy”).

Even the Festive Countdown Calendar is cheering me up, telling me there are ONLY 7 weekends to go until the Big Day.

In fact, I was already devouring the first Christmas Chocolate Selection Box like “Snapper the perfect tree” when up popped a rather annoying email which nearly, just nearly, had me sealing them back up.

You see, a new analysis has revealed that over half of all Brits have high cholesterol, with a “staggering” 43% of Millennials (yep, that’s me) at risk of blocked arteries.

Some annoying holier than thou doctor said: “Historically, it’s always been older people who were believed to have high cholesterol, with levels peaking in their 60s and 70s. Thanks to our major new research programme, we now know that millions of far younger people are most at risk.

“High cholesterol is a major underlying cause of cardiovascular disease (CVD), the leading cause of death worldwide, often leading to heart attacks and strokes.”

Now, apparently it’s all down to the advertising campaigns of Deliveroo and Just Eat, as the rise in fast foods and home food deliveries are playing a big fat role in pushing up “bad” cholesterol levels, although it does not detail what “good” cholesterol is.

Older Brits, in contrast, don’t like advertising much so are less in the habit of ordering super-fast foods high in saturated fats, which means their cholesterol levels are proportionately lower than many younger age groups (not quite my experience of the older generation of esteemed bosses mind you). Even so, only 39% of over-80s have high cholesterol, as opposed to 67% of 50-somethings.

Foods partially responsible for increasing “bad” cholesterol, include red meat, such as beef, pork and lamb, as well as processed meats such as sausage; full-fat dairy, including cream, whole milk and butter; baked goods and sweets; and fried foods.

Basically, my weekly diet.

Luckily the report failed to mention the other two staples of my diet – red wine and chocolate – so without further ado I will crack open both in the knowledge that my arteries will be flowing like the rivers of England (only slightly cleaner, hopefully).

All we need now is for you advertising types to stop being so successful and maybe, just maybe, we can all rest slightly easier.

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