So, three weeks in with my new fella, Delicious Dylan, and things are still going off with a bang; the bedroom, the kitchen, the bathroom, the sitting room; even the garage will never be the same again.
No, for once, I’m not just talking about sex; his DIY skills are pretty impressive too and, for a financial advisor, he’s certainly great with his hands.
Mind you, it did get me wondering just which professions make the greatest lovers (just in case this all goes tits-up once we have to actually talk to each other).
Luckily, help is at hand with a new study from MaterialsMarket.com (well, new to you lot; to everyone else this came out months ago but it neatly fits our mantra of “you read it here last”).
Based on 2,000 UK consumers from a range of backgrounds, sexual orientations, ages and locations across the UK, it claims to have found the definitive guide to “The Best Brits in Bed”.
Each participant was asked to share details on their partner, including age, gender and profession, and then rate how ‘bad’, ‘not great’, ‘satisfactory’, ‘good’ or ‘incredible’ their partner is in the sack.
So, did advertising and marketing lovers make it into the top 5? Our survey said: “Uh, uh!” How about the top 10? “Uh, uh!” Top 20? “Uh, uh!” Sadly, you lot didn’t make it anywhere.
In fact, it was so-called blue collar workers who came out on top, from behind and even from the side, with three-quarters of Brits with partners in the trades rating their bedroom experiences ‘good’ or above. In comparison, only a quarter of office wallahs were graded ‘satisfactory’ or above.
Just for the record, plasterers topped the list of the best lovers, followed by electricians, teachers (really?), mechanics and builders.
So, if you are after a decent lover apparently you’d be better off shagging a graphic designer, an architect, a plumber, a personal trainer, an accountant, a gardener, a carpenter, a mortgage advisor, a nurse, a chef, a cleaner, a dentist, a retail assistant, a call centre operative and even a lawyer.
If you believe this, just about every profession under the sun seems to be better in bed than anyone working in advertising and marketing.
Ah well, cheer up, it could be worse. You could be a humble hack; we didn’t make the list either and we get paid way less, too…