And so to my hot lunch date with Dylan from Plus Promotions. Come on, try to keep up will you? He’s the bloke who emailed me out of the blue last week with a promise to put me in the pink with the offer of a “Financial Incentive for Mutual Benefit”.
I say hot, and I mean it – not only was the mercury rising, “Delicious Dylan” was rising, too, if you get my drift. Still, ever the professional, I listen patiently to what he had to say, took it all in, worked out the pros and cons and then I snogged his face off.
To be honest, I don’t think Plus Promotions are a great fit for a partnership with this august publication but I’m certainly more than happy to wile away a few hours, weeks and months with Mr Delicious.
After all, I’ve been single now for far too long and with Christmas looming – exactly 101 sleeps until the big day, according to Silentnight’s Countdown to Christmas with Santa – I need someone to help me get through those long and lonely nights. I also need someone to take my Christmas Present List and run with it.
And don’t think I will be joining the trend towards “meaningful gifts” rather than extravagant ones, either. According to a recent eBay Ads survey, nearly two-thirds of shoppers believe thoughtful gifts hold greater value than expensive ones, with half intending to purchase thoughtful gifts for friends and family. Cheapskates.
Even worse news emerged in an IPA study which showed the hospitality sector looks set to be particularly impacted this year, with almost a quarter of all consumers stating that they will be reducing their spend on meals out and almost a fifth reducing their visits to bars and clubs.
Meanwhile, 23% have said they will be reducing their spend on new clothes; 21% will be cutting back on presents for extended family and 20% say they will scale back their spend on premium groceries/drinks (branded, luxury ranges).
To be fair, I don’t think Delicious Dylan would dare…
After all, he knows that the wrong gift could turn Plus Promotions into Minus Promotions. And, as William Congreve once wrote: “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a Foxy scorned”. Don’t say you haven’t been warned, luv.