“You’re simply the best, Better than all the rest, Better than anyone, Anyone I’ve ever met, I’m stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say, Tear us apart, Baby, I would rather be dead.”
Yep, we’re going back to the Eighties this week, when Tina Turner was bashing them out like a pro; Mikhail Gorbachev’s was espousing the joys of glasnost and perestroika; Tim Berners Lee formalised the concept of the World Wide Web; the first “designer babies”, a pair of female twins, were created in a laboratory; I was born; and a young, dashingly handsome blue-eyed Aussie called Stuart got a job at the then brand spanking new Evans Hunt Scott.
Naturally, I remember little of the Eighties as I was still on the breast for most of it; and so – allegedly – were most of the EHS senior team, too.
In fact, legend has it that while our young buck was beavering away cutting out Tesco coupons (sorry, devising the global launch strategy for Tesco Clubcard) and giving DunnHumby the introduction of the decade, one senior agency executive was stomping around the office in his girlfriend’s high heels, while another was busy chartering planes from Shoreham Airport to go on a personal jolly. Elsewhere, in the agency they were re-enacting Sodom and Gomorrah. Funnily enough, loose lips sink ships and they also sank EHS, not once, not twice but three times.
Oh, how things have changed. Tina’s snuffed it (well, she did say she’d rather be dead); Gorbachev’s revolution has been dismissed; the Internet has taken over the world,; designer babies have been replaced by designer vaginas; I’m all grown up; and even the young, dashingly handsome blue-eyed Stuey has changed. He’s now a nicely matured, dashingly handsome silver fox.
And, to be fair, he’s aged far better than his old buddy, who just so happens to be my esteemed boss, McFatty McKelvey. By the looks of it, he’s far richer, too.
All I’ve got to do now is persuade Stuey that I could be the perfect fit to be one of his “hand-picked group of the world’s most experienced and successful human experience and customer experience talent”.
After all, “Stuey and Foxy” does have certain ring to it don’t you think and, with my very own brand of “human experience”, his new venture really will be “simply the best, better than all the rest”.
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