What are TWaTs really up to when working from home?

Never let it be said that we don’t tackle the big issues of the day. Well, maybe not the biggest but at least a few whoppers now and again.

And so it is this week. You see, as everyone is finding out rapidly, many companies are now expecting marketing staff to return to the office full-time. Yep, the age of hybrid working is drawing to a close (to be honest, I never even got a look-in) and apparently thousands of you are up in arms.

Is it because you can’t face the prospect of trawling your arse back in to the office week in, week out? Possibly. Or is it that you fear for your mental health and work/life balance? Maybe. But, dear readers, I can exclusively reveal the real reason for this reluctance to return to work (and that’s the second exclusive in a week).

According to the love rat’s favourite online platform, illictencounters.com, hybrid working marketers who only go into the office on Tuesday, Wednesdays and Thursdays – so-called TWaTs – choose Mondays or Fridays to cheat instead of working from home.

After the classic “I’m off to work” excuse, the second most popular alibi used by affair-seekers is “I’m at the gym” (29%), or “at the pub with a friend” (17%), 4% say they are “shopping”, and 2% use golf as an excuse – hole in one, anyone?

Less than a quarter of those surveyed feel guilty about their indiscretions (23%), however, nearly all of them (97%) said they would only feel guilty if their partner suspected them or found out about the affair.

As IllicitEncounters.com sex and relationships expert Jessica Leoni explained: “A solid alibi for infidelity is important to these people, you can’t get any more solid than going to work. We all switch off from our lives when we’re at work and have been indoctrinated to never contact a spouse at work unless it is an absolute emergency. Partners aren’t bothering each other when they are making money. How are they to know they’re not needed in the office on any particular day?”

So, next time your colleague says they are working from home, you can almost guarantee they are hard at, just not hard at work…

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