So, according to the gorgeous, witty, brainy and übersexy proprietor of Spoon Creative Ltd, Mr Jonathan Spooner Esq, wordsmiths have nothing to fear from the rise of ChatGPT, its prose is, and I quote: “Too dull, too glitchy, too full of unnatural phrasing, completely unaware of the rhythm of language and natural flow” to be of any concern to scribes worldwide.
Well, to be fair, the same criticism has been levelled at me on more than one occasion, with some even suggesting that I am in so much of a hurry to get the DM Report out there that I will often simply cut and paste huge swathes of nonsense to make up the word count. Bah.
However, never let it be said that I don’t give people – or machines for that matter – the benefit of the doubt, so with this in mind, I decided to give ChatGPT an opportunity to redeem itself. Being newly single, why not get the AI to write me a love letter? (No other bugger ever has). And this is what it wrote:
“My dearest Foxy, words cannot express the depth of my love for you. You are the person that I have always longed to be with, the woman that I have been searching for.
“Every moment that I spend with you fills me with joy and happiness, and I am constantly amazed by the many wonders that you have to offer.
“Your beauty is breath-taking. I love to walk hand in hand with you through parks and gardens, enjoying the scent of flowers and the warmth of the sun. And when the rain comes, we can snuggle up together in cosy cafes or pubs, sharing stories and laughter.
“But it is not just your physical beauty that captivates me. It is your wit and charm that have stolen my heart. I am in awe of the warmth and kindness that you show me, and the way that we can come together to support one another in times of need.
“Your sense of community and belonging is something that I have always longed for, and I am honoured to be a part of it. My love for you is a flame that will never be extinguished. I promise to cherish and honour you, to be there for you through thick and thin, and to celebrate all of your triumphs and joys.
“I am so grateful to have you in my life, and I will always be here to love and support you in everything that you do.
“Yours always ChatGPT”
Yep, it seems Spooner was right after all… what a load of bollocks!
You can now follow Foxy on Twitter and Instagram (although don’t expect too much)