Why dodgy tickers will be at the heart of Christmas

Now that the John Lewis Christmas spot has landed – and the world and his wife, her wife, husband, civil partner, lover, friend with benefit, office affair, “them”, “they”, singletons, the “self-partnered” and even Campaign readers have shed a tear – my festive mood is reaching for the stars.

And with my trusty November Advent Calendar emptying fast and the Festive Countdown Calendar revealing there are ONLY 50 sleeps to go, everything is building nicely.

Well, it was until I got an email from independent clinical testing specialist London Medical Laboratory, warning us all of our impending demise.

Yep, while we’re all trying to drown our sorrows and forget about the soaring cost of everything from heating to fish and chips, the war in Ukraine and the fact that Matt Hancock is appearing on our screens EVERY NIGHT, London Medical Laboratory claims that the holiday season is one of the deadliest times of the year, with Christmas Day the worst of all.

To quote Dr Quinton “chuckles” Fivelman, PhD, who is chief scientific officer at the clinic: “It’s that time of the year. Every TV advert and supermarket visit reminds us that we should already be planning for Christmas. As we set about organising food, presents and parties, we should also be planning how to survive the season.

“Christmas is widely considered to be a joyful and relaxing time, but for many it’s anything but.”

To reinforce the point, he even quotes Office for National Statistics figures that reveal December and January are the most common months of mortality in the UK, with the highest concentration of cardiac-related deaths during Christmas time.

“Chuckles” continues: “Strong evidence suggests that rich foods, alcohol and restricted access to hospitals results in a higher frequency of heart attacks during the festive season.

“Additionally, many of us travel to see friends and family and that may present problems. While people are holidaying away from their main medical facilities, they may try to put off presenting to a doctor until they return home. That delay can prove fatal.”

Luckily, the London Medical Laboratory reckons it can help you avoid shuffling off this mortal coil and wrecking your festivities, as Dr Fivelman explains: “London Medical Laboratory’s Heart Health Profile test can be done either at home or at one of over 85 selected pharmacies, drop-in clinics and health stores that offer these tests across London and nationwide.”

Mind you, by the time people cough up hundreds for the test, most won’t have enough to buy the rich foods and alcohol anyway…

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