“Good old Sussex by the Sea! Good old Sussex by the Sea! You may tell them all we stand or fall, For Sussex by the Sea.” (Part 2) Yep, the Decision Marketing Bus Tour of Britain has returned home, although the bus has gone to its final resting place in the breaker’s yard.
But just as we were putting away our Lovehoney interactive map of Britain’s raunchiest places to live and visit for another year, up popped another map, courtesy of Pornhub’s intrepid statisticians, who have apparently been toiling away all summer long to see how adult tastes differ across various parts of the UK.
Marketers of adult products take note: the boffins report that visitors from Scotland adore “pegging” (glad we didn’t make it up there), while in the South West it seems they love nothing more than a glory hole (ditto). Visitors from the North East crave a “chav” (ditto), but in the North West they reach out to “chubby” porn (why, oh why, did we go to Cardiff instead?), and in the East Midlands they have a big appetite for “BBW” (ditto).
Meanwhile, visitors from Greater London go cock-a-hoop for “Turkish” compared to the rest of the UK (I must admit I do love a Şiş Kebab), while those from the West Midlands are more into “Indian” (ditto a Chicken Tikka Balti Saag).
Anyway, we’re back on the South Coast now and raring to revisit all the places we have been missing on our holidays.
As VisitBrighton points out: “Ever since royal party animal George IV fell in love with Brighton back in the 18th Century, the city has been a magnet for visitors in search of fun, frolics and fresh sea air.
“With its majestic Regency squares and crescents, iconic Royal Pavilion and famous piers, today Brighton is as well-known for being a welcoming and diverse city with a passion for culture, creativity and sustainability as it is for its historic landmarks.”
“Fun, frolics and fresh sea air”? So long the Decision Marketing Bus Tour of Britain, hello home, sweet home.